Everyone has heard the phrase “got hit by a truck” but this idiom has a very different meaning for one Delt member. His name is J-tel and last Chester street dance he actually got hit by a truck. Specifically, a Dodge Ram. And it fucked him up. Bad.
This year he vows not to make the same mistake again. “Life's not about how hard of a hit you can give... it's about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward. And last year I got fucking rocked” said J-tell as he taped broken beer bottles into the spaces between his fingers. “This year's different. I'm gonna slash the tires on that Dodge.” Justin “The Slim Reaper” Stutdgle7gte has gone through a grueling year-long program to get ready for the Big American Rematch. His preparation has included but is not limited to - 40-second plank back in March - A strict diet of egg whites, creatine, and road-kill - Gets beat up by Wookey once a week to keep his body ready - Built up testosterone by not masturbating once Close friends are skeptical about his odds. Entrepreneurs and resident riverboat gambler Cody Bussell laid heavy odds against J-Tel. “Most books have opened with J-tel as a 20-1 underdog, and honestly that’s a bet I’d make with my life. Yesterday I mortgaged my parent's house and bet it on Dodge. I suggest you do the same.”
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January 2018
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