The horse stables and cow pens at South Dakota State University are buzzing this week as the Jackrabbits prepare to root on the football squad from the various farms in which they spend their weekends. The Jacks hold a 5-0 advantage since both teams have moved their athletic programs to Division 1, but that doesn't mean the cousin kissers up at state aren't a little nervous.
"Goddam it sure be nice to get us a W!" said Junior Bale Throwing major Cooper Gates as he threw in another upper decker of Copenhagen Straight. "I knew this weekend be a big one but I never figured them Coyotes were so good at foosball. Last time I seen a coyote it was the the one my cousin Jimmy shot down east of the slough on the back 40. Didn't get shit for the pelt though," exclaimed Gates as he shot a line of spit through the hole of one his many missing teeth.
President of SDSU Delt and bean field expert Reilly Ell expressed his concern over the amount of "Hate State" tweets he had heard about on Twitter, but has not had the pleasure of reading them. "Well up yonder in Groton we aint got much book learnin, but some feller told me that there were some tweets on Snapbook or whatever that we love fornicatin our cousins! I can't read too good but someone should tell them we only kiss our cousins. Enough with this interview I got to git a calf back in the pen."
Many SDSU students are worried that the lack of color TV and internet in Brookings will make it hard to follow the score of the game. "Hopefully they send a telegram out to the homestead," lamented chicken farmer Jake Baloun. "Im usually too busy in the tractor to catch any of the games but the mail comes over to our place once a week on horseback and I can't wait to see if them rabbits git it done. Yeehaw!!"
One thing that we can all agree on is the fact that if the Jacks go down and lose to the Coyotes it will surely be without their consent.