Look out country music fans! Early Wednesday morning Miles Semmler threw a 24 pack of Bud Light into the back of his car and put Parkston in the rearview as he set out on the high way for three things: a good time, country music, and trim.
“Oh fuck ya I’d love to get some trim up in WE Fest. A lot of people like country music but I mostly go there to try to get some action if you know what I mean dude,” said the younger Semmler brother.
Early reports show that trim numbers look strong in the Detroit Lakes area, rebounding from an all time low just a few years ago. We consulted local trim conservation expert Isaac Snaza to comment on Miles’ chances of landing the big one.
“We’ve seen a lot of trim migration to the Detroit Lakes area lately, maybe Miles will get lucky enough to snag one. I highly fucking doubt it though,” said Snaza in what was most likely the first words that the keyboard warrior had spoken all week.
Andrew (the older Semmler) was also skeptical of Miles’ odds. “He’s gonna go and talk a big game but end up passed out in a tent by 9:00, probably with his dick in his hand,” commented Andrew.
We all wish Miles the best of luck in the upcoming week, hopefully he can find the next ex-Mrs. Semmler!