This past Saturday various members of SDSU Delt joined together to play in a Kickball tournament to support StateAthon, an annual event that supports the Children’s Miracle Network Hospital. The team’s captain, fearless leader, and shortstop Harrison Wookey named the team the Free Ballers in honor of his lack of wearing underwear.
The brothers woke up bright and early at 11:30 am and rushed to the field for sign-ups at 12:30. “Well I was sleeping when Chuck called at like noon and asked if I was going to play, and I was like, fuck I guess so. Im really good at kickball, we used to play it at Roncali. Have you ever heard of that school? Me and McNeary went there.” said the rover and closing pitcher Jayden Everson.
The Free Ballers went 2-0 in pool play to earn the 1 seed for the single elimination tournament. Second basemen and underarm throwing guru Matt Sebert was skeptical at first of the teams chances at winning it all, “I didn’t think we’d do too well until I saw Chuck whip out the Redman. Nothing goes together like kickball and a nice chaw, I've been saying that shit since the fourth grade.” The Free Ballers only committed 3 errors in the tournament. Center Fielder Cooper Gates attributed the stellar defense to their communication, “When the ball was in the air, someone would yell DIBS, and that’s how we knew they were going to catch it. You can’t break a dibs you know.”
The brothers went undefeated in the tournament and breezed through their championship game winning 8 to 2. “Fuck yeah I came to win. I don’t even know what the stateathon is but I heard there was free Taco Johns for the winners” Said Left Fielder Cooper Hartley when asked about what his intentions were.
The team's donation amounted to 45 dollars and some of Sebert’s blood, which occurred when he and Harrison Wookey failed to DIBS a pop fly in shallow center. “Am I playing next year? Fuck no, I almost missed the Notre Dame game” said third baseman Adam Karst in reference to his future plans. In addition to free Taco Johns, the team also received a beautiful trophy with duck tape kickballs and “1st Champions” written in Sharpie.